What to Do If Your Boyfriends Cat Hates You

Why your boyfriend’s cat hates you:

She’s jealous of your relationship
You disrupted their routine

You smell weird
You sound weird
You’re too loud

You’re not a food bearer
You don’t play with her
You came on too strong

You sit too close to her litter box
You’re forcing the relationship.

The Reasons Why Your Boyfriend’s Cat Hates You

Cats are complex creatures with a wide set of emotions and intelligence. When it comes to meeting new people, cats are rarely friendly and comfortable around them from the beginning.

You have to earn a cat’s trust, and that can take time.

Unfortunately, it’s likely if you are starting a relationship with someone who already owns a cat, you may have to do some groundwork before the cat accepts you as part of the family.

The cat might not hate you per se, they may just see you as a big interruption in their otherwise comfortable lifestyle. Here are all the reasons why your boyfriend’s cat hates you.

1. She’s Jealous of Your Relationship

Cats can get super jealous of your relationship, especially female cats. If you spend your evening snuggled up to your boyfriend on the sofa, she will be watching with scorn.

Cats don’t like change, especially change that includes their loving owner giving more attention to someone else.

The cat probably prefered it when you weren’t there. It’s not that the cat is genuinely jealous of your relationship, you’re just messing up her comfortable routine with her owner.

What Can You Do?

If you find yourself in a love triangle with your boyfriend’s cat, the best way to resolve it is to teach your cat to accept your relationship.

Your boyfriend will need to spend more time with her when you’re not there and also give her lots of attention when you are there.

Your boyfriend should aim to give the cat praise or treats whenever the cat is around you. This will start to allow her to associate your presence with attention and treats.

2. You Have Disrupted The Cat’s Routine

Cats love routine, and they dislike anyone that breaks that routine. They are habitual creatures that enjoy structure throughout each day.

That’s why a cat will cry when it’s the food comes out late, when it can’t get outside for toilet time, and when you miss important playtime.

When a new person jumps between the relationship of a cat and its owner, you will likely have disrupted the cat’s daily routine.

Cats are introverted and sly creatures that do not enjoy having their regular routine disturbed. This may result in avoidance, hissing, and scratching.

The very fact you now exist within your boyfriend’s cat’s life can make you a target. It’s not personal, but you have broken their comfortable routine, and now you must face the consequences.

What Can You Do?

There isn’t much you can do about breaking a cat’s routine, just be patient and give it time. His kitty will eventually get used to your presence over time.

Watch out for any vomiting or refusal to eat, some cats can act sick when their routine is broken.

3. You Smell Weird

Cats are highly sensitive to smell. They love to smell everything in their vicinity, and they process each smell carefully.

When you arrive in a cat’s life, you’re going to bring in a lot of smells it isn’t familiar with.

Cats spend a lot of time rubbing their pheromones all over their owners to help relate to their owners on a chemical level.

When someone new enters the scene, smelling of strange and unfamiliar scents, it’s very natural for a cat to keep its distance from that person.

What Can You Do?

Your boyfriend’s cat will need much more time with you to help familiarize itself with your unique scent. This problem can only be improved with patience. Ian – this is to make it personal to the reader and their problem.

Try to spend more quality time with the cat, and over time, the cat will become accustomed to you and your weird smells.

4. Your Weird Sounds

It’s not just a change in smells that cats dislike, it’s the change in sounds too. When you visit your boyfriend and his cat, a number of sounds can make the cat annoyed or frustrated.

Sounds that may be disturbing your cat could include a loud voice, laughing, shouting, crying, ringtones, music, and even your loud TV shows or movies.

If your boyfriend and his cat have a fairly peaceful life together at home and you are a particularly loud person, you could be annoying or upsetting the cat.

Hysterical laughing or loud arguing often leads to an irritated and unhappy cat. While many people believe cats are quite aloof, they are actually emotionally intelligent creatures that can pick up on people’s moods.

If you and your boyfriend argue at his house a lot, then the cat may quickly become moody and start to dislike you.

What Can You Do?

Be respectful of the cat’s space and peace. Try not to be too loud around the cat, keep your voice down, and turn the volume down on the TV. Cats need a peaceful environment in order to be their best selves.

5. Your Loud Movements

It’s not just your voice that can annoy a cat, it’s your sudden and loud movements around the house too.

Those that stomp around, are heavy-handed or just generally loud when they do things around the house are likely irritating the cat.

Cats, like most animals, have evolved with the natural instinct to fear sudden and/or loud movements.

You can’t just walk into a cat’s comfortable environment and start banging around the house like you own the place.

Cats are extremely territorial, and they won’t look kindly on someone who so rudely disrupts their peace.

What Can You Do?

Cats enjoy a life of serenity, so its best to respect this and try to be quieter when moving around their home.

Failure to keep quiet and continued disturbance may result in the cat avoiding you, or acting out with a hiss and scratch every now and then.

6. You Don’t Feed The Cat

Cats are extremely loyal to the hand that feeds them. Unfortunately, this doesn’t include you, so why are you in their home?

Cats can love their human companion and form deep emotional relationships, but that ends soon enough if you’re not feeding them. A cat may even consider running away if not fed properly.

When you go to the house, you don’t feed the cat, so it doesn’t form a connection between you and feeding, which is very important in a cat/human relationship.

What Can You Do?

Take some treats with you when you visit your boyfriend’s house. The cat will slowly start to associate your visits with treats, which will win you some points.

The cat may then accept you as a frequent visitor into their home and even start to like you.

7. You Don’t Play With The Cat

If you don’t take the time to try and spend some quality time with your boyfriend’s cat, then you don’t have a chance of getting his cat to like you.

Cats need their friends to put some effort into the relationship for it to work.

When you take the time to play with your boyfriend’s cat, you are helping the cat to link your presence with having fun.

This is vital for trying to get a cat on your side. Playtime can help the cat to disperse any aggression, reduces fear, and builds trust between you.

What Can You Do?

Each time you visit your boyfriend, try to spend at least ten minutes playing with his cat. Use some cat toys and praise good behavior.

You might want your boyfriend to join playtime at the beginning, so the cat feels safer about the situation.

8. You Came on Way to Strong in Your First Meeting

If you haven’t yet realized, cats are extremely fussy and very particular about the company they keep.

When you first met the cat, did you try and pick her up? Did you try to stroke her fur without consent? Did your boyfriend try to force the cat to snuggle with you?

When a cat meets a new person for the first time, they need time and space to sniff and walk around you a bit.

They need time to get familiar with your new scent and figure out why you are in their home. If you jumped straight in for a cuddle then you crossed a serious cat boundary.

If you already crossed this cat boundary, it can be an arduous journey to reconcile your relationship. You may need some serious time before the cat can get comfortable around you again.

What Can You Do?

Allow the cat to sniff and walk around you when you visit, but don’t touch or play with her until you feel she is giving you consent and is warming up to you.

Don’t force your interaction, not all cats enjoy being picked up whether they like you or not.

9. You Keep Hanging Around It’s Litter Box

Imagine if someone came around to your house and started hanging out in your bathroom or just outside the bathroom door. You would most likely feel ticked off, right?

You would consider these actions rude and be uncomfortable doing your business around them.

A cat feels exactly the same when you hang out near their litter box. Most likely, you don’t even think about it, but the cat will definitely resent you for it, and mistrust will be built.

What Can You Do?

Sit away from the cat’s litter box and allow her to do her business in privacy and peace.

Ask your boyfriend to improve the litter box area so the cat can not see either of you and maybe even provide a houseplant for cover.

10. You’re Forcing The Relationship

Just like humans, if you force a friendship, it can quickly turn sour. You make the other person feel awkward and uncomfortable, this creates resentment, and the relationship is over before it even started.

The exact same thing happens with cats. They don’t like forced friendships either. They need time and some genuine effort from the other person.

Putting the cat in your lap, or your boyfriend putting the cat in your lap, for forced cuddles is a very bad idea.

What Can You Do?

Don’t force the relationship and make sure your boyfriend doesn’t force it either. Let her naturally warm towards you by allowing her time to get accustomed to your smell and voice.

Play with her regularly and feed for some time to start building a connection.

Final Thoughts

Cats are extremely complex creatures that, unlike dogs, can’t be won over by new people very easily. Don’t beat yourself up if your boyfriend’s cat hates you right now.

The cat doesn’t like you for very natural reasons. Use the guide above to help start your journey to a better relationship with your boyfriend’s cat.

It will require patience and hard work, but like all cat owners will tell you, winning over a cat is one of the most rewarding experiences here on earth.

Contributor: Andrew Miles

Sources

https://www.catological.com/can-cats-get-jealous/